dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
