I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
