He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
