And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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