He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize