I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
