Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
