Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
