"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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