Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
