Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
