hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
