The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
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