he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
