You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
