I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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