I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
