so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
