Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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