chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
