i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
