butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My first STD was from a foam party
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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