Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
