I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
