hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize