No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
foreskin is a definite game changer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
