Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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