I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You ruined the universe
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
