'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
