party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
