Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
