STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
