If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
