I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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