my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
