apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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