It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
