quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
