State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it's like iHOP with fire
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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