i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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