this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
