Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
