His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
