his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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