I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
