thus making me awesome and them whores
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize