sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
