I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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