you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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