Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
