I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
