You're my little dorito
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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