I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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