who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
