We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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