Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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