my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize