Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
