just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize