I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
