everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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