dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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