I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize