I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
