Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
